While nursing is of course always about caring for patients and doing your best to ensure they stay free from physical harm, every now and then I will have a patient who makes me so mad, all I want to do is cause some physical harm to them. However, I need to control myself and act professional in every way which was not very easy with this one patient I cared for.
This particular patient was admitted for acute respiratory failure secondary to methadone overdose. He was stabilized in the ICU and sent to the acute care floor. Now this patient was a big man…morbidly obese weighing close to 500 pounds. This made it really hard for the patient to ambulate and perform his basic activities of daily living.
Not only was it difficult for this patient to do basic simple activities, he was extremely stubborn and refused to do the things that he needed to do to become healthy enough for discharge such as: wearing a C-Pap machine and sleeping in the bed instead of the recliner. One of the most annoying things this patient refused to do however was use the urinal or bedside commode! Instead he chose to be incontinent and wanted help with cleaning up. (I hate it when patients do this…because not only do I have to help…but it really only hurts them in the long one).
I had already taken care of this patient for a few nights in a row and was beginning to get tired of his rude comments and constant need for help. (Now I am one who will help anyone with anything…but when it comes to situations where I know that the patient can do it for himself…it becomes incredibly hard to continue being nice).
One night as I was helping to clean him up I noticed that he had some fungus growing in his folds. As I was scrubbing his folds, he leaned forward and said “You have been a bad girl. You need a spanking. I am going to spank you.” WITW!!! I very quickly stopped cleaning him and stepped back…of course I was so mad I left the room and sent the tech in to finish. For the rest of that night I only went into the room when I needed to.
The next night of course I had this patient again. (Believe me when I say I was a little mad at my co-worker for making me have him again, but oh well). I took him his medications and began to assess him. He stopped me and asked me to scrub his testicles because they were itching. I told him that I would get him a washcloth so he could do it himself. He then proceeded to throw a huge fit about how he couldn’t do it because he couldn’t reach it. I very quickly went and found my guy tech and sent him to help. (Neither the patient or the tech was happy about this move).
This patient was really starting to get on my nerves yet again and the night had just begun….I was managing to stay professional until…it happened.
Before I left that morning I went in to do his dressing changes. I was almost done when he grabbed my arm and said “I’m going to bend you over the bed and take you right here. I’m going to have you right now.” I quickly shook off his grip, looked at him and said “Excuse me…You are going to do what? With what???!!! That small thing you can’t even reach???!!!” (Yes, it is possible I have grown into my mouth a little and do have moments where I may not exactly filter what comes out).
Now I know that the professionalism disappeared and I probably shouldn’t have said what I said, but I was very angry…it’s one thing to have patients say things when they don’t know better…but this man was 100% cognitive and knew what he was doing. I have learned that many times people who are rude and crude, only respond and actually hear what you are saying when you are rude and crude right back to them. The worst part is that I have to continue to care for him for the next several weeks…while they find placement for him…it’s going to be a long month.
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