As I attended a friend's nursing pinning ceremony today, I realized how different the world looks from this side. A year ago I was scared of: starting a new job (where it was a great possibility I could/and probably would kill someone), getting out on my own (for real, even more secluded from family, who could fix my problems for me), and just in general the different ways I knew I would grow (because we all know to grow you have to have those terrible things called "growing pains" and lessons learned that usually end up hurting). It was scary...of course being me, the person who needs to be strong and not show any weakness, I tried to hide it and I'm sure that my big super ego and big head came out in those days.
Now that a year is here, I have different fears. In the last couple of months I have been considering and examining whether I have settled in my job. Did I take the job because it was one of the first ones offered, the benefits are amazing and the other perks such as tuition payment for grad school are pretty good also? While these are all deciding factors and good deciding factors in accepting a job, did I forget the most important factor? Do I like my job?
I see this examination in a lot of my coworkers as well. We are all wondering if we made the right choice. A few have decided not, and have left and went to other departments or hospitals. Those of us left…seem to judge every bad event that happens on our shift as a sign that we made a mistake and that we were pretty stupid and naïve. However, maybe this isn’t the way we should be answering the question…did I settle? Am I really happy here and now?
We probably should be considering every good event that happens. Patients who thank us for our care, family members who are comforted, differences that we made in the short time we have been here and then of course the differences in ourselves.
When I look at this question and these answers I realize that while I may have settled in the beginning in order to have a job to gain experience, now I can honestly say I like my job. Sure there are things that I do not like and nights where I just want to quit and forget it all…but unfortunately that will be anywhere I work. Do I think this job will be for me forever, I would have to honestly say…uh no…I THINK NOT! But for now…the good outweighs the bad…so for now… I am not a settler. And this year has been quite an experience that I will never forget.
If I was going to pass on advice to the new grads I would say…enjoy it…sure it’s overwhelming at first and it is scary but it is so worth it. Don’t let the bad get to you enough that you can’t see the difference you make in your patients and families lives. Don’t let the fear overcome the fun and good times of life.
“And every tear that had to fall from my eyes, Every day I wondered how I’d get through the night, Every change, life has thrown me, I’m thankful, for every break in my heart, I’m grateful, for every scar, Some pages turned, some bridges burned. But there were lessons learned.” –Lessons Learned, Carrie Underwood-
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